Was just thinking earlier, and came across an odd thought: my reaction to other people talking about sex is drastically different from one person to the next.
Now, I'm definitely a bit different from the average person (and very different from the common stereotype of how the average guy is) when it comes to this sort of thing in the first place, considering that I need to actually get to know people before I can become attracted to them, and even when that happens, the physical aspect of it is usually the absolute last thing to get involved. So in case you weren't already aware -- my eyes are not automatically drawn to boobs and butts every time someone passes, I do not actually think about sex every seven minutes (heck, it's probably not even every seven hours on a typical day... there've probably been times where it wasn't even every seven days!), I don't immediately form opinions on someone's appearance upon my first glance of them (and when, or if, those opinions do develop... they're anything but "set in stone," liable to shift around a whole lot depending on how well I get to know someone and how often I see/talk to them and who knows how many other things), I'm not hung up on a specific body type or anything along those lines, and so on.
But anyway, on to what I was actually going to write about before I got sidetracked a bit. When other people talk about sex, my reaction to it seems to vary wildly. Some people? Even the vaguest mention is uncomfortable, sometimes even bordering on creepy, even if nothing that's even remotely creepy was said. A random Facebook comment implying something sexual (or even not-quite-sexual-but-very-close) or an offhand sexual joke might be enough to make me wish I hadn't scrolled so far down the page. An outright mention of that some people's sex lives (or even acknowledgement that they have one at all) just feels "icky."
But with other people? Even when things are said that probably WOULD make me uncomfortable (or at least very slightly embarrassed) in public, there's no uncomfortableness and certainly not any creepiness. Vague mentions are okay, dirty jokes are okay, stories about stuff that happened in the past as part of some previous relationship they were in are okay, even if they end up talking about specific things that I actually do find to be "icky" or going into a little more detail than I'd want to be talking about in a public place... it seems like basically nothing bothers me when some people say it. Or at the worst, there might be an occasional "ouch" or "ew" sort of reaction, not the creepy, uncomfortable sort of feeling that I get other times. It's not an "ouch/ew" that makes me want to change the subject, just a normal reaction to what's being said. On rare occasions there might be just a tiny bit of uncomfortableness, but it's so brief and so minor that whatever was said doesn't ever get to the point of "okay, I would be better off having never heard that."
I wondered for a second if it might have something to do with me having some sort of strong feelings for the person saying the thing or not, like if I'm not as close to someone it'd be more uncomfortable while if I've known them for a while and feel more comfortable with them in general it'd be less so. Doesn't seem to be the case, though, looking back at a few specific "I wish I hadn't just heard/read that" moments -- several of the ones that bugged me the worst were actually vague mentions or jokes in Facebook comments from people I knew pretty well and had some degree of feelings for at the time.
About the only consistent thing is that "hurr hurr, so-and-so's hot" kinds of comments always creep me out at least a little. Partly to do with the use of "hot," I'm sure, since that particular word has always come across as creepy to me. Pretty much whenever it's a guy bringing up sexual stuff, it comes across as at least a little uncomfortable and/or creepy -- probably because of how society encourages the "hurr hurr, she's hot" sort of commentary from guys more than girls, along with encouraging (or, at best, not discouraging) them to go along with basically every other kind of creepy or assholish behavior when it comes to sexual stuff. Also, whenever something comes across as bragging about something the person did (also common to the times I've been unfortunate enough to overhear guys talk about this kind of stuff), or bashing on people they were previously involved with, or talk about a person as if the sexual things they did were the only good thing about that person and/or the only reason they were involved with that person to begin with... those tend to bug me a lot also.
But when it's just like... someone telling me about things that happened in their past, with no creepy bragging/bashing sorts of comments, just describing what happened (sometimes vaguely, sometimes in more detail)... then it doesn't bug me, even when it gets into the range of things I honestly didn't want to know, and things I pretty much never would've asked about or brought up. But some people are able to bring those sorts of things up without creeping me out in the process, somehow. I'm still not sure what it is, but I'm wondering if maybe it has something to do with the degree of... I guess respectfulness?... involved. Like, if someone tells me about some random sexual thing that happened in a past relationship... if it comes across as the sort of thing I'd overhear the douchey kids hurring and durring back and forth to each other in high school (creepy bragging, bashing on past sex partners as if the way they did sex things somehow reflects on their worth as a person, etc.) then it bothers me. If it's just like "hey, here's a thing that happened in my life, I'm going to tell you about it in as non-creepy a way possible" then it doesn't.
Like I said, this isn't a subject that comes up often for me, so this post pretty much took several years worth of random conversations with various people (and unfortunately overheard conversations, and random Facebook comments I stumbled across...) to get to a point where I might be able to figure out what's going on. But the thought stuck in my head, so I had to write it down, pretty much.
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