Yeah... that pretty much describes how it's been here lately. It seems like every day (or multiple times a day) another girl I know suddenly is in a relationship with some guy, often not even a guy that hangs around with her a lot but some guy I have literally never seen her around until just the past week or so. This has happened so freaking many times lately, I can't even count the exact number... and half the time it's a girl that I had the thought of attempting to ask on a date (or at least just ask to dance once or something), too. None of the girls I've really seriously had a crush on so far, but I wouldn't be surprised if the insta-relationship plague started infecting some of them too, at the rate it seems to be spreading to everyone who is not me. Seriously, I'm surrounded by guys who are either in a relationship, engaged, about to be in a relationship, and so on... and all they ever do is complain about their (comparatively minor) problems. Come on, you think you have problems with girls? Maybe you should ask the 26-year-old guy who's never had a girlfriend (and didn't even go on a date until he was 25) about what a real problem with dating/girls/etc. is like, since you probably have never actually experienced one. Except maybe a bad breakup... but since breakups seem to lead almost immediately into another relationship (or at least the possibility of one... and even that is something I've never been lucky enough to have, as far as I'm aware) around here, even that's kind of a wussy problem compared to the kind of crap I have to live through.
Even worse, today it seemed like I just could not avoid all the relationship "problems" talk. Or just relationship talk in general. Seriously, every freaking time I wandered somewhere in an attempt to find people to talk to, I would always walk in on someone talking about some girl they want to ask on a date, or trying to come up with ideas for a date, or something along those lines. And most of their "problems" seem so insignificant to me... and I have problems with a lot of small things sometimes, so if somebody else's problems are so small even I just kind of laugh and say "wait, that's all?", you know it's a pretty insignificant problem. It's like if I kept running into people who buy lottery tickets, and most of them have already won the lottery but yet can't find anything to say but "what am I gonna spend it all on!?" Meanwhile, I never even get a winning lottery ticket in the first place despite buying just as many as any of them. Okay, maybe not just as many, if "buying a lottery ticket" = "asking girls on dates," since I haven't actually gotten around to that even once this year... but still, most people don't have a giant death-machine obstacle course in front of their hypothetical lottery-ticket store. Heck, some people even have other people go in and buy their tickets for them. I've never had anyone offer to set me up on a date with some girl. NEVER. Supposedly this happens all the time, but despite having so many female friends, apparently not a single one of them has ever thought "hey, maybe this lonely single guy who always mentions his terrible luck with girls might appreciate it if somebody did the hard part (actually asking) for him and set him up on a date?" And yet these guys who have no difficulty asking girls on their own get extra help like that all the freakin' time. Ugh.
It doesn't help that it feels like I rarely ever run into any of my really close friends this year. I think I'm probably having Ruth withdrawal symptoms at this point, I've see her so rarely this semester... I'm actually missing her more now than I did over the summer, since at least then there was no way to see her since she was a gazillion miles away. Now she's literally right here in my backyard (okay, in the Lofts, so a little further than that) and I still never see her... maybe very briefly once or twice throughout the week but that's been just about it this year, I never really get to talk to her anymore because we've both been so busy and our schedules don't match up well on most days... it's been really awful for me. It's almost feeling like she's just been kind of cut off from me, though I know (or at least I hope) that it's not intentional... I can't help but get those horrible paranoid worst-case-scenario thoughts about the situation even though I should know better and realize that it's just schedule conflicts and business, there's no reason for her to actually be avoiding me or anything like that. But I still worry about stuff like that... I just can't help it. :(
Aside from that, today was... eh. It started out okay, then turned kinda depressing, then eventually somehow managed to get a little better (though I honestly can't figure out what did it... I kept running into the depressing relationship-talk all day, and nothing especially good ever happened for me throughout the whole day either.) I really need to quit eating at Subway so often, since it's eating away my money much faster than I would like, but sometimes there's just nothing to eat on campus (dining hall food sucks sometimes + I'm not going to pay money to eat that food by myself or with hordes of strangers unless it's really good that day... and sometimes I just don't feel like eating at Jonzzey's, especially when the "by myself or with hordes of strangers" problem is a factor.)
On a more positive note, I'm not really sick anymore (just occasional coughing, but today was the first day I could go without Advil or Dayquil or no-name nose decongestants for the entire day without any difficulty.) I finished reading my second-ever volume of Sailor Moon manga either this morning or last night, I can't remember which for sure (I may have forgotten to mention that I grabbed that when I made another trip to Wal-Mart recently, when I had run out of drink mixes and stuff again... I don't think I posted about that trip at all, though I can't remember for sure. If I didn't, well... I mentioned it just now. XD) I also drew a pretty awesome picture of Kekyu Arghenplaffer and a small army of Yagyuoo, along with this weird swirly space-esque background on the right side. I'll have to scan that one in (along with Damuru-J and possibly the map) the next time I have access to a scanner.
On a completely random note, I finally figured out what the "stop-light" theme of the first (and crappiest) dance this year was all about. Apparently it was supposed to be "wear red if you're taken, green for single, and yellow for... something complicated." Some sort of weirdo Mormon relationship code, pretty much. This was not explained anywhere that I could see, at least not until someone (who had... somehow found out about it) posted it on the SVU blog. I guess it was only mentioned during orientation stuff. Still, I finally know why Michelle thought wearing both red and green would confuse people... the idea that this was supposed to be confusing somehow was what confused me at the time, not the color combination itself. XD
And back on the dreaded subject of relationship crap again: I really want to ask someone on a date sometime soon... actually going on dates is another thing I've really missed from last year (or first-semester last year, really), and I really would like to get a chance to actually do that again. Unfortunately the problem I have right now is not the usual "unable to ask girl" issue, but instead a harder problem to solve: I don't know who to even ask on a date in the first place. I guess I could always ask someone I don't know very well, but... the problem there is obvious (I would have a very hard time asking someone I don't know very well on a date, and plus... if I asked a girl I didn't know very well, I wouldn't know her very well, so I would really have no idea what to expect or even if I actually would want to go on a date with that girl in the first place.) A few of girls that I was sort of thinking about asking seem to be already taken at this point, or "soon to be already taken" in some cases. Another girl I like is in an "I don't want to worry about dating" mood at the moment, which pretty much ensures that some random guy from out of nowhere is going to swoop in and become her boyfriend within the next week, so I might as well consider her "soon to be already taken" as well (seriously, that has seriously happened every time I've seen or heard a girl say they're giving up on dating this year. Within a week, no exaggeration. It's ridiculous.) There's Ruth, who I would really like to go on dates with again, but... I'm not sure if a full year is long enough to wait after the "I'm not interested in a relationship right now" thing. I mean, technically I wouldn't even be asking for a relationship right away (who would? that would be just rushing into things), but I'm worried that even asking her on another date might be taken that way. And there's another girl who I had a pretty big crush on last year (one of several that I've liked pretty much the whole time since I've been here, along with Ruth and another girl who probably wouldn't go on a date with me due to Mormon issues), and who people kept pointing me toward last year for some reason, but... I honestly don't have any idea what she really thinks of me despite her claims to the contrary, and (if, by some freak chance, I do ask her on a date and by an even more unlikely freak chance it develops into something more than that) the idea of a long-term relationship with her seems like it could be a bad idea, for several different reasons which I won't go into here where anyone can read. I mean, I don't usually like to think that far ahead in the future, but there are some things that just kind of... make you think that far ahead, in a "wait a second, if this works like that, then this other thing could never happen" kind of way.
Plus, I think she's actually in the play that's running over the next couple weekends, so she'd be busy during the usual date times and I wouldn't be able to ask her to go to the play with me, which is the "sort-of date idea" that I'm kind of bouncing around in my head right now. Maybe if I do end up asking someone (and hopefully end up picking a girl who hasn't already seen the play by then...), we could go to eat somewhere first and then go to the play afterward? Or just go to the play and then go for a walk around afterward... it's funny, the guys who actually have dates are having so much trouble coming up with ideas while I randomly come up with two just off the top of my head like that. Yeah... I still have to laugh at the guy who considers "I already have a date but don't know for sure what to do on that date" to be a serious problem.
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