Friday, September 7, 2012

Today was a really good day...

Classes went pretty well (Spanish III might not be quite so scary as I thought it was going to be the first day), I'm getting to know some new people (mostly girls of course--I'm still me, and I've always gotten along with girls better--but also a few guys), and I'm continuing to bump into people I knew from last year who I hadn't seen in a long time.  The food/party-thing event at the Institute building was kinda ehh (lacking a bit in the food, and way too overcrowded), but I did manage to get a salad and a really good brownie, and of course talk to people.

And then, right when the day was being pretty much my best day in a while... suddenly I get this horrible flash of paranoid-ish thoughts (almost) out of nowhere, (probably) completely unfounded in anything that's actually there (though of course, telling them that doesn't really make them go away.)  I don't know if there's actually anything to be worried about or if it's just me being a bit too suspicious of things sometimes (I'm guessing that it's just me being overly suspicious, and I really hope I'm right about that guess), but still... not exactly a great feeling to end a day with.

I hate it when I'm having a great day and suddenly some little thing (which may not even be an actual thing at all--probably just me being paranoid about things) comes along and tries to screw it all up.  It's happened before, though with different things triggering the paranoid-ish-ness (usually something I did, or someone's reaction to something... this is probably the first case in a long time where it wasn't, actually.)  I'm probably being incredibly vague so nobody has any idea what I'm talking about and thinks I'm just crazy or something, but that's okay.  I'd rather people not know exactly what it is that's bothering me in this case, in case that leads to either a confirmation or certain people thinking I'm too paranoid about certain things.

Of course, after writing down this vague rambling mess of nonsense that nobody will actually understand, I actually sort of feel better (the initial thoughts have left my mind, at least, so unless something sets them off again I should be fine.)  Guess I'll walk down to Subway or something and get some real food now.  I definitely need some; can't go all night on just salad and a brownie after all.

EDIT: And after I got back from Subway... my day got really good again! When I noticed there were several extra people in the house and they were hanging around the dining room table, it turned out that they were playing board/card games over there and had no problem with me joining in.  So I got to play two games for the first time--Apples to Apples (for a little bit, since I joined in when the game was almost over) and Quelf (which I was present for the whole game of.)  Turned out to be a lot of fun, and I ended up pretty much laughing my ass off pretty much the whole time (apparently most of what you do in Quelf is getting cards that make you do random ridiculous things, like singing "I'm a Little Teapot," pointing at people whenever you talk to them, pretending to be armless, or complaining about a football, three rubber ducks, and a piece of bark being super-glued to your forehead during everyone else's turns.)  Toward the end I got an "ask your foot for permission to speak whenever you're going to say more than 3 words," but someone won before that happened so I didn't get to do that before the game ended (kind of surprising considering how much I talk, but I somehow managed it... I think the longest thing I said was "bag of seeds" which is right at three words, so I guess my foot didn't mind. XD)  I've pretty much entirely forgotten about the momentary crappiness from earlier, too!

I think I'm really going to like living in the Library Mods (and not just for the "having my own bed," "cooking my own food," and "no noisy lacrosse kids keeping me awake at night" parts.)  Back in Craton the place always felt really lifeless, and nobody was ever around except some of those random strangers I lived in the same building with and I had to walk over to the lofts/the library/one of the mods to have anyone to talk to... but here people are always coming into the house to talk and goof off and there's usually at least someone to talk to even if there's not much else to do.

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